What is it about dating?

Dating. What a weird word. Thats the thing where you plan a thing with another person and you do stuff.

According to Wikipedia Dating is: any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in a relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

So, it's basically just a tool used to see if you are compatible with the other person right? The guy normally asks the girl out and then she says yes and then they date and get married and have kids right? Happy ever after? Isn't that how it works? I guess it all sounds pretty simple. It is not always just that simple.....at least for me. I guess if we flash back about 10 years my views on dating were very different. I was still in High School and a date to me was prepped by asking a girl out to a dance in a crazy way. Like sending her on a scavenger hunt or making her pop balloons full of shaving cream to find out who was asking her to Prom. This was then followed up by her responding in an even more creative way! Oh, the fun of dating in High School. The funnest part about it was planning with my friends what we were going to do. There was the activity during the day then the activity/dinner dance at night. Sometimes even followed up by an after dance party. Dating was stress free. It was casual. It was fun. I always looked forward to the next date. Then I graduated and dating became a bit different. Not too different mind you because I still had a mission to consider. I would call up a good friend for a family activity or a friends play and we would go together. Maybe that was not so much what you call dating by just a casual hang out. Except that I did pay for things mainly. I felt that if I had invited them then it is my responsibility to pay for things.

I guess "dating" for me really changed after I got home from my mission. I wanted to get right back on that band wagon and start dating. In fact, I think I was so anxious to take the next step in my life that I had no problem calling girls or even asking them for their phone number to take them out. If I met a cute girl in line at the grocery store I would usually walk away with their digits in hand. I was not a pro but I was confident enough at the time to get a girls number. Something started happening though. When I would ask the girl for her phone number she would give it to me but then I could never quite get her to commit to a date. This just didn't happen once but almost every time I started asking. I found that my tactics where not working. I of course adjusted and found other ways that worked for me. The best way I found to "date" was to meet people through friends cause that way the girl already had reference of who I was and she felt better about dating. This worked for a time and I did date some people for extended amounts of time this way but I found myself single again and was back at the drawing board. With going to school part time and with holding a full time job I soon found myself in a situation where I was meeting very few new people. This became a problem in my dating pool. My pool had been emptied! I soon discovered the dating via the World Wide Web. Lds Linkup was the site for me. I could meet plenty of new people and I could do it while at work or while working on a paper for school. It was so very convenient! I probably went on a dozen or so dates from online and hooked it up with a few. Nothing permanent, obviously. I was dating a new person every week though. Sometimes in a given week I would date 2 or 3 different people I met. I was loving it. I couldn't say my pocketbook was loving it so much though. Dating was expensive.

Today I am still on the linkup site but it has probably been 5 months since I have dated anyone I have met online. I have gone back to meeting and sorta dating people I meet in my social circle. In my ward, and in the plays I am in. Except the problem is I have not "dated" any of them. Or better said I have not gone on any dates with them. I suppose I have done plenty of hanging out and flirting etc with them but not once have I really taken them to dinner.....ok I lie....I have. But not a planned out date. Just sort of a spur of the moment thing. What can I say? I am very spontaneous and I just do things on a whim. It has also come to my attention that a good majority of the time when I DO try and plan a date out that either the girl backs out last second or something goes wrong with the alignment of the stars or something and the date just does not happen.

I have decided I am scared of the word "date". Here is why:

-I am afraid of the girl canceling.

-When it is titled "date" I think I lose self confidence because I know that it will put me and the gal I am dating in a possible awkward situation. You know, the awkward moments....*sigh*

-I sometimes think it is just a waste. Especially if I know it on't go anywhere.

Ok, there is probably more but I know I am rambling. I have gone on far long enough with this post.

Morale of the story? I need to learn to love and use the word "date".